The Three-Date Drop

Things are going well, you're texting regularly, hanging out at least weekly, and in your mind (the female one) things are going swimmingly. That is, until you cave and after date three, allow some below the belt activity.

Now, growing up we learn from movies and television (Sex and the City being the obvious exception), that if you are a lady you wait until date three to sleep with the guy. Throw in a few prior incidents, and you may be so inclined to not seal the deal until things are "official". Either way, let's say post date three the below the belt activity commences, seeing each other sans clothes for the first time, both of you have a good time and you leave wondering when you'll see him next. If you're me, by this point you're thinking not when you'll see him again but, "Will I see him again?"

Past history tells me no. Then again, sometimes men surprise you, right? I personally have no evidence of this, but my you know the drill : There's always an exception to the rule, it's just not you.

Either way, at the end of the text-free work day, we're forced as women to ask ourselves :

What are we really holding out for?

I'll tell you what. I call it the 5-Coaster Requirements. Why coasters, you say? Simple explanation. While at my local watering hole, investigating the quality of men around me, I grabbed five coasters from a pile and organized them in a pleasing diamond shape. I then proceeded to explain to my best male friend what they stood for:

1. Looks: Shallow, I know, but let's get real. That's the initial spark to the fire 99.9% of the time.

2. Sense of humor: Ever heard the saying, "If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything"? This is, although it pains me to admit it, quite true. I know that when I'm sitting down with a guy and I feel the refreshing flow of genuine laughter emerging from my lungs, I'm with someone who deserves my time.

3. Intelligence: Intelligence, is sexy as hell. Not over-confident, bullshit, "watch me use big words improperly" intelligence. Genuine, humble intelligence. Also, nerdy is sometimes sexy too.

4. Working goods: Ladies, do I need to explain this? I think not. Size, stamina, quality. You know all about that.

5. Spark: Can't explain it, can't label it. It is absolutely real and in my opinion, beyond explanation.

It certainly exists, but is it unattainable?