'New Girl' in the Neighborhood

FOX. You know, that network that somehow magically stumbles upon great opportunities and stomps all over them? They've hit the jackpot once more, but judging by the fact that they have picked up Zooey Deschanel's venture into the land of TV, New Girl, for a FULL season...maybe the winds of change are blowing through the network.

Let's recap really quickly. FOX has cancelled many, many shows over the yea

rs. Yes, there are pilots that should never have made it into the following episode, but then there are gems that get slashed off the lineup just because this corporation lacks the ability to properly promote and situate the series to succeed. For example:

You know Family Guy? Once upon a time, FOX was stupid enough to cancel the wildly inappropriate, adult-themed, animated series. While parenting groups everywhere would have cheered, the rest of us were heartbroken during it's stint of cancellation. However, I feel that the stupidity of FOX can be summed up in two words : Arrested Development. I recall

when I first started watching it, I'd literally have Ron Howard narrating my surroundings. Needless to say, I'm a fan, and an angry bitter one at that. Then again, can we really blame FOX for this one? A huge percentage of the audience didn't appreciate the show because they lacked the intelligence to truly understand it.

Now that I've gotten far, far away from the topic at hand..New Girl!

We all love Zooey Deschanel, even as a straight girl she is a "girl crush", you can't help but love her. I gave Glee a second chance this year after the disappointment the second season was, and boy am I glad I did. Sure, the show has returned to it's original roots and that makes me happy, but if I hadn't been seated after the season premiere I probably wouldn't have tuned into New Girl until a good friend harassed me into doing so. Why did I fall for this show? Well because as a twenty-something who has more dude friends than female ones and is terri

ble with all things love, I related. Here's why :

1. Black-rimmed dork glasses : I own these, but rarely wear them with confidence. I feel that Jess has given me the confidence to do so.

2. "It's Jess" : Who hasn't created a song about how awesome they are? In secret, of course, but now we can sing our theme songs loud and proud, we don't care who hears them.

3. The Male-Female Dynamic : Proof that women and men can just be friends. It's quite apparent that Nick and Jess will bump uglies at some point, bu

t the living situation at the moment is one hundred percent precious.

4. The Dork Factor : LOTR references, belting out "Time of My Life", t-shirts with slogans, and the inability to pick up a guy? Yes, I have been there and I'm still there. But I'm working on it.

If you have not watched this show, please do so..before FOX makes another mistake.

The Three-Date Drop

Things are going well, you're texting regularly, hanging out at least weekly, and in your mind (the female one) things are going swimmingly. That is, until you cave and after date three, allow some below the belt activity.

Now, growing up we learn from movies and television (Sex and the City being the obvious exception), that if you are a lady you wait until date three to sleep with the guy. Throw in a few prior incidents, and you may be so inclined to not seal the deal until things are "official". Either way, let's say post date three the below the belt activity commences, seeing each other sans clothes for the first time, both of you have a good time and you leave wondering when you'll see him next. If you're me, by this point you're thinking not when you'll see him again but, "Will I see him again?"

Past history tells me no. Then again, sometimes men surprise you, right? I personally have no evidence of this, but my you know the drill : There's always an exception to the rule, it's just not you.

Either way, at the end of the text-free work day, we're forced as women to ask ourselves :

What are we really holding out for?

I'll tell you what. I call it the 5-Coaster Requirements. Why coasters, you say? Simple explanation. While at my local watering hole, investigating the quality of men around me, I grabbed five coasters from a pile and organized them in a pleasing diamond shape. I then proceeded to explain to my best male friend what they stood for:

1. Looks: Shallow, I know, but let's get real. That's the initial spark to the fire 99.9% of the time.

2. Sense of humor: Ever heard the saying, "If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything"? This is, although it pains me to admit it, quite true. I know that when I'm sitting down with a guy and I feel the refreshing flow of genuine laughter emerging from my lungs, I'm with someone who deserves my time.

3. Intelligence: Intelligence, is sexy as hell. Not over-confident, bullshit, "watch me use big words improperly" intelligence. Genuine, humble intelligence. Also, nerdy is sometimes sexy too.

4. Working goods: Ladies, do I need to explain this? I think not. Size, stamina, quality. You know all about that.

5. Spark: Can't explain it, can't label it. It is absolutely real and in my opinion, beyond explanation.

It certainly exists, but is it unattainable?