Reason #194 the Internet Disturbs Me.

Let me preface this entry by professing my love for the internet. I love it, I love that I can pay bills, check my bank account, stay in touch with friends, and google pretty much any question I have and get an answer within .005 seconds.

But, romance online?

In my twenty-four years on this planet I have joined exactly two online dating sites. The first one is a very popular website, but it requires you pay for it's services. I was coming off the heels of my first real breakup with my first real boyfriend. As you can probably imagine, some alcohol was involved as I hopped onto my laptop, and threw together a user profile which consisted of little to no information about the real me, an obscure quote from a cancelled British TV show, and the most attractive picture of myself I could find.

To my satisfaction, I began receiving messages rather quickly. However, this was solely for experimentation as I already had my next male suitor lined up. I just wasn't ready to commit yet. Signing on to this website for a free trial was the pick up my broken ego needed, but sure enough when I realized if I didn't cancel immediately my credit card would be charged $100, I panicked and cancelled, leaving many men in the dark about my existence.

Fast forward 2 years, another very real breakup, and almost a year of "single" under my belt. Granted I'd run into my fair share of winners in my time as a single lady, but I was still hesitant about the world of online dating. I don't know why I say "I was". It really should be "I am". My friend had suggested I try this other online dating site. A free one. I took a moment to laugh out loud at the idea, and then got on to see what it was all about.

Let me tell you what happened moments after setting up my profile and answering some rather personal questions.

First it automatically suggested a guy to me who I'd had a crush on, but previously thought didn't play for my team, if you catch my drift. This caused me to literally roll around laughing for approximately 10 minutes. From that moment on, I didn't take this site seriously. Fast forward a month or so, a month in which I did not even check this site, and you have me, fussier than ever, seriously considering talking to guys online. Yikes.

Anywho, I started taking it semi-seriously, chatting with guys who seemed decent and interesting. Still very hesitant. Then yesterday I had the great pleasure of receiving this message :

"Hello,

I deeply regret that it is my unfortunate duty to bring it to your attention that you are above and beyond our maximum standards for looks.You are clearly a 9/10 and here on OKCupid we only allow 6/10 maximum.

Your account will be CLOSED unless you reply to this message with your name, phone number, your favorite flower, how many cheetos you can fit in your mouth at once (just curious) and if you prefer chinese or italian cuisine.

This is very serious business and I would advise you to not take my message lightly or you might anger my boss.

Thanks"

I stood there for a minute, attempting to close my mouth which had dropped open upon reading this message. I couldn't decide if it was more appalling that he saw fit to rate me a 9/10 based on the one picture I'd provided as evidence, if that was a compliment, or if he was serious about the questions he was asking. Needless to say I did not respond because the only reply I could muster up was "Wow."

I think online dating and I may have to break up. I'm not super curious about what's behind Door #2.